Does it drive you crazy that the answer to every problem these days seems to be to ‘let it go’?
It does me. And what’s more, I think it’s bad advice.
Why? Because in order to let something go, you first need to know what it is that you are most deeply attached to and trying to hold on to. These are the things that you, subconsciously, pay most attention to.
And what you pay most attention to is linked to your inner drive (your motivation), your idealised self-image and what, subconsciously, is most important to you. I have written about this in my earlier posts. However, it’s not that easy to recognise and observe these things in yourself or in your clients.
What is easier to recognise, and therefore observe, is what you pay most attention to. This is even easier if you have some clues to go by; pointers to those things which you know each of the 9 enneagram types subconsciously pay the most attention to. We know what these are because many people who recognise in themselves a specific type have told us (= storytelling).
The nine attention-grabbers of the enneagram
Here’s my summary of each of the nine attention-grabbers: things which each of the nine types subconsciously pay most attention to. Whether they want to or not.
type 1 – what is wrong, what can be better, how it can be better (optimised) and what MUST be improved, strict values and how to live up to them
type 2 – people and the opportunities to come into contact with them or build a relationship with them, for example by being useful to them or caring for them
type 3 – the chance to score, to be visible, to be applauded and to beat the opposition
type 4 – what is missing, what is desired, authenticity, what others have that type fours also want
type 5 – how to maintain autonomy, independence, to gain knowledge (so that others aren’t needed)
type 6 – what can go wrong, where the risks and insecurities lie, ensuring certainty by gathering information, the trustworthiness of others
type 7 – finding the way out, solutions, options and possibilities, things that are nice and pleasant
type 8 – the lie of the land – who’s strong, who’s weak, who has power, what is fair, who or what needs protection
type 9 – sources of conflict and disharmony, how to maintain harmony, maintain the status quo, feeling comfortable
This is the WHAT. WHAT grabs the attention. And you can observe yourself and your coachees to identify what this is. If you listen closely to your coachees, can you recognise one of the above categories in them?
Tip: try focussing on this in the coming week: pay attention to it 😉
For example, does one of your coachees react to your suggestions or comments by pointing out the danger or focussing on what could go wrong? Then there’s a good chance your coachee is a type 6. Of does a coachee often react with a ‘no’? Telling you why she can’t or won’t follow your suggestions. Then there’s a good chance your coachee is a type 9.
Observing what your coachee focuses on is therefore a great pointer to his or her dominant enneagram type.
Tell me, can you now see that one of your coachees falls into one of the nine categories described here?
Use the reaction box below to tell me about it. Don’t send your reaction in an email as other readers of this blog may also be able to learn from your experience. And thank you for the time you have invested in reading my blog and reacting to it.
To your personal growth!