Freud taught us….subconsciously we all try to move away from those things which we don’t like and move towards those things we do. Put plainly: from pain to pleasure
We will go a long way to avoid pain and to distance ourselves from things we don’t like. And what gives pain and what gives pleasure differs per type. By pain I mean everything we find unpleasant, in the broadest sense of the word. I also call it the types’ ‘no go’ area.
Although I wasn’t aware of it, what I most definitely steered clear of – and still do if I’m not careful – was risking doing something wrong, making a mistake, not doing a good job, failing in the eyes of others, loosing self-control and so on. All variations on a theme. Doing so made me feel bad and that’s what made it a no-go area. Not doing a thing well or not being good at something; that meant pain to me. And if you’ve read my earlier posts you’ll know why.
You probably know by now how my posts work – following my introductory story, I list the relevant characteristics as they relate to the nine types. Because this week the descriptions per type are quite long, I’ll keep my own story and the theoretical part short so that we can move on to the details per type.
The ‘no-go’ areas for the other 8 types are (amongst others):
type 2 – own inner feelings, feeling and communicating their own needs, being dispensable and therefore not needed, not helping or caring for others, being self-centred, having own needs;
type 3 – failing, not achieving aims and results, being overshadowed by others, losing face, standing still, distractions (including emotions);
type 4 – rejection, being like everyone else, following the herd, ugliness, superficiality, being bourgeois, normal people and feelings without emotional depth;
type 5 – emotional chaos, loud and intrusive social settings, superficial people and conversations, intrusive people, loss of autonomy, being dependent;
type 6 – insecurity, risks, uncertainly, unpredictable people, being unprepared, not knowing what is expected, being at the mercy of powerful others;
type 7 – paying attention to and being aware of pain (their own and other people’s), unpleasant situations, paying attention to problems, limitations, conditions and limits, boredom, routines, protocols, rules, details;
type 8 – vulnerability, weakness, powerlessness, insecurity and dependence, situations in which others call the shots, being without control and protection, not taking action, other truths;
type 9 – expressing own wishes and points of view, feeling and expressing own limits, taking a stand and going for it, being visible, taking on the fight, giving feedback.
What can you do with this? You probably already realise that moving on means moving outside your comfort zone. These ‘no-go’ area lie outside each types’ comfort zones….So that’s where they need to go in order to grow.
Do you recognise in yourself in what I wrote about your particular type? Do you have any additions, nuances or anything extra to say? Then we’d love to hear from you!
Share your thoughts in the comment box below. That way we can all learn.
And THANK YOU for the time you have invested in reading my blog and reacting to it.
To your personal growth!